McCoy's - Sizzling Bacon

 This post is one for the men, and all those people who love them. That's actually quite a lot of people. This time, we review one of the manliest crisp brands around: The Real McCoy's. First up is their meaty flavours collection, starting with the enticingly named "Bacon Sizzler". Will it make its namesake proud? Let's find out!

 

Packaging: These crisps come in a packaging that makes them look like royalty. Rocking the gold and purple, these crisps sport a regal look. Pretty nice design, simple but eye-catching. Flirty, almost. I see what you're doing there. The back does not leave anything to the imagination. These are Man Crisps. And don't pretend you didn't know, it says so right on the back. Now that's identifying your target market alright...

Odour: Crack open a bag and what scent are you greeted with? The strong, sweet smell of bacon. BACON. It just smells so meaty and delicious. I'd go as far as describing it as an impressive smell. That's right. Impressive. I said it. Not recommended for vegetarians. Why? Because you will want to eat pigs, that's why.

Appearance: Ridged is the name of the game. They think it is so cool that they put it on the packaging! Pictured is one of the crisps from the bag. Some are bigger than the one pictured, and I'd go as far as describing a couple as a little too big, with quite a big variation in size. This is a medium sized crisp based on what was in the bag, although a couple of giant ones skewed the distribution (sorry, I'm a scientist). These bad boys will leave a seasoning residue on your fingers, so consider yourself warned. As for the ridges, they look manly alright?!

Taste: This is where these crisps just don't make the cut. The taste doesn't start very strong, but it's pretty persistent. What that means is unlike most of the Hula Hoop flavours, the taste stays around while you are chewing instead of quickly dissipating. However, to my (and eventually your own) sadness, the taste is nowhere near as strong as the smell, and in fact the crisps come off as a bit mute. Towards the bottom of the bag you will find a bit more seasoning, so while the taste is a little stronger it still doesn't quite have a kick to it. Even at the bottom of the bag, where most of the well-seasoned crisps hide, the flavour isn't very strong for a man crisp. While it is a bacon flavor, it's a light one, which makes me a sad panda. A sad panda who eats bacon. I would describe the seasoning as kind of salty. Alas, as you get to the crumbs you find more of a kick to the flavour but it is too little too late.

Aftertaste: In a bit of a surprising twist, given the lack of flavour, the aftertaste is decent. The more crisps you consume, the more the taste lingers and consolidates in your mouth. However, I would still describe it as mediocre, not pleasant or unpleasant. I would describe the aftertaste as a bit salty, with a tiny hint of seasoning.

Crunch: I hope you're a ridge man, because these crisps only pack a modest crunch. Nothing to write home about, the crunch is pretty soft and doesn't exactly yell man crisp. The ridged texture is nice but the crunch is lacking, which is pretty weak. Unlike men.

Cost: £1 mixed for a mixed assortment which includes 6 bags and 3 flavours.

Verdict: These crisps are alright but the flavor definitely needed more kick to it. Not packing a great crunch, the smell (and packaging, if only you could eat it) is likely the best thing about them.

Overall Score out of 10: 5

Hula Hoops Original

The first type of crisp that I will be reviewing are Hula Hoops, starting with Hula Hoops Original.

From Wikipedia: "Hula Hoops are a potato-based snack sold in the United Kingdom, in the shape of short, hollow cylinders. They were first introduced in 1973. Hula Hoops come in several flavors."

We will feature the other flavors at some point as well, but you gotta go start with the original, so I did. 

I will cover the different ratings in what I think is the most logical order, so here we go!

Packaging: Pretty classic packaging here. Nice catchy red color, image of the crisp (or hula hoop in this case) right on the front of it (albeit a little exaggerated, it's not a bloody onion after all so what's with all the overlapping rings!?). It's a nice small pack which is good for transporting and it fits well in your hand. However, my surprise was with the back of the packaging:

There was actually a lot more going on here than I expected. I enjoyed the Hula Hoop facts inclusion, good use of the often neglected space back there. I like the 1-2-3 for a healthy balance idea and the typical stuff about "If you don't like it, contact us if you can be bothered to!".

Odour: The odour is pretty soft, smells like potato. Doesn't smell too fried, and the smell is overall rather light. Nothing overwhelming or unpleasant, and nothing you'll be able to smell easily unless you try.

Hula Hoop and Penny for size comparison. No pennies were harmed in the making of this review.

Appearance: True to the images on the front and (mostly) the back of the packaging, the hula hoops look like small, wider versions of the real life children's toy. In terms of colour, they are the same neutral tone as an oven-baked potato wedge. Basically, they are a light or pale yellow colour. The hole in the middle of the hula hoop brings back memories of when as children we'd wear them on our fingers and make our friends jealous before devouring them. But if you're over the age of 12, wearing them on your fingers will only make you look like a knob. Don't try it. People will know. There are relatively few broken hula hoops, and the ones that are have been broken in half, which is still a size that is easy to consume. The bag I had and which is pictured held 25 grams.

Taste: Something particularly nice about Hula Hoops is they taste exactly how you remember them. It makes you wonder how much, if at all, did the recipe change since that fateful day in 1973. They taste lightly salted, just enough so you want to have more, but not too much that you necessarily need a drink with them or feel particularly unhealthy. The salty taste is magnified when eating a couple in quick succession or at the same time, but again never feels overwhelming. Hula hoops are also not greasy and leave your fingers unsoiled. I don't know if that is a word, but if it isn't it damn well should be. There are small crumbs that may cling to your finger, but they wipe off easily without residue. The natural, wholesome taste is satisfying and makes you reach for another. Their size is just right as well, meaning you don't feel bad at all grabbing more of them and you figure you'll have just one more... But who are we kidding? Bye bag.

Aftertaste: No complaints here, only a remnant of the salty, potato-y taste lingers in your mouth. Just enough for you to want to grab another! Nothing unexpected from an original flavour

Crunch: This is definitely where the hula hoop is at its best, making it very fitting that it is this blog's first review. Cracking a hula hoop with every bite is a very rewarding feeling, both due to the sound it makes and the physical feeling of crushing it between your teeth. The sound is loud enough for people to hear, so that they may longingly look at you hoping that you'll share. Yea right. The hula hoops are thick enough for that satisfying crunch, but not too thick. A very good crunch balance, and the reward is the fun you have eating them.

Cost: Hula Hoops are very inexpensive. I got a mixed bag with 3 flavours and 7 bags total from Sainsbury's for the low price of £1, and if they were sold individually I imagine it would be much less than that. Well worth it.

Overall Score: 8 out of 10. 

That wraps up our first review. Look out for my review of Salt & Vinegar and Cheese & Onion Hula Hoops to come!

Getting To The Bottom Of It

From http://www.flickr.com/photos/30057378@N02/2814862062/

So, in discovering what are the best and worst crisps around, we will be rating them on several criteria. They are:

- Crunch: Obviously. Did you even read the blog name?! Basically how satisfying they are to bite into and the accompanying beautiful sound it makes. I feel all tingly and shit already at the thought of it.

- Flavour: This is an obvious one. Do they taste like shite or do they make your mouth water at the mere thought of them? We will be going for variety here folks. No taste will be left untasted. None. We are dedicated. We are determined. We are ready.

- Aftertaste: This is an under-appreciated category. Sure, the crisp tastes great. But if all you can taste in your mouth for the next 4 hours is some mix of dirty prawn and cheese, you won't be a happy chap now will you? No. Didn't think so. So we will be sure to include info on what lingering taste will lodge inside of your mouth after ingesting said crisps.

- Odour: This is surprisingly important. Sometimes the crisps smell better than they taste. And sometimes they smell rank. We will warn you of the possible perils or delights that you risk by opening that fresh bag of crisps. Pregnant women and odour aficionados should love this section the best.

- Appearance: Does it look like a turd but taste like a treat? Houston, we have a problem. Here we will be discussing the appearance of the crisps and compare them to household objects and odd paraphernalia they may vaguely resemble. Expect it to get dirty quick. We are sick people here at the Crunch.

- Packaging: Does the packaging burn your retinas? Do you want to eat the bag? Do you look at the bag and wonder when was the last time they redesigned that shiz? Or does it look well good? We will tell you. And you will believe us. Because we're experts.

- Price: This is how much your new obsession will hit you in the pants. I mean wallet. While this is sometimes uniform, and there's always some sort of running promotion or sale on crisps, we will be sure to let you know how deep you'll have to dig into your piggy bank before you go to the shop. Nothing like being 5p and a bag of sensual crisps short. Being short is pretty shit in general, imagine being short and not having any crisps!

There you have it. Of course, the reviews will be accompanied by multiple second-class images of the crisps and their associated packaging, with the possibility of our smug mugs included while nomming the crisps. You've been warned. Let the reviews begin!

Welcome!!!!

Welcome one and all to "The Crunch", your handy guide to the treacherous world of crisp decision making. You've got a rumble in your tummy and only one snack will suffice-a bag of crunchy, flavoursome, lip-smacking crisps. We are here to help you choose the best crisps ever, the crisps  that you deserve. So follow us here on our crisp tasting adventures as we review for you all of the crisps, we are here to help!